By Jerry
“Hello and welcome back to The Podcast! I’m your host, James, this is my dear friend Henry. Henry, would you like to introduce yourself?” James asked.
“Hello world, I’m here.” Henry said awkwardly,
“Well today on The Podcast,” James started, “we are going to talk about the strange phenomenon happening in Magnus, Oregon, just a town over, where Henry is from. “James said secretively. “Henry, would you like to explain?”
“Of course,” Henry said nervously. “Sorry, yes” he said more confidently.
“ It all started about a month ago when this strange man showed up.”
“A strange man?” James inquired.
“Yes he just showed up out of nowhere! People say that this man comes in the night and delivers letters.”
“That’s not creepy at all…” James chimed in sarcastically.
“ Yeah, he’s said to be an older man with an eye patch over one eye, and a beard that goes to the ground. He also carries around a pet snail, oddly enough.” Henry continued.
“The people of Magnus are very confused about the strange sea man. He came on a ship the size of a house. We suspect he lives on the boat. He comes in the night, knocks on your door and leaves a letter. The letters are all the same, they all have the same snail seal, the same blue envelope, and the same flowery handwriting on the front. But the most unique and strange part of the letter isn’t the outside or even the way it’s delivered, it’s the contents of the letters.”
“Really? That’s so weird!” James chimed in.
“Yeah it is, and they’re supposedly from the people’s older selves.” Henry continued
“That’s impossible…Right?” James questioned. “I don’t know James, you’d think so but there are a lot of weird things out there, and all the people who have gotten these letters swear that they are really real and ARE from their older selves. Some people say it’s witchcraft.” Henry finished.
“That’s crazy though.” James claimed.
“Well-” just as Henry started a door opens and footsteps approach the mic.
“Who are you?” James’ voice is not frightened.
“ I’m the mailman,” A southern voice says matter of factly.
“You’re the guy!?” Henry exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to answer questions,” the voice said.
“Really? Why?” James asked.
“Because I’m bored and need something to do, this is life right?” the voice inquired.
“Uh…. yes?” Henry said.
“Ok well this is a podcast about me so I think it’s only fair that i’m in it, so ask me your questions and I will do my best to answer.” the voice told them.
“Ok then” James hesitated. “Well then I guess I’ll start with this. What’s your name?”
The voice answered swiftly. “Austin, people just call me the mail guy though”
“I think that’s because they don’t know your name, but, ok mail guy… um, why are you sending all these letters to people?” James asked.
“Well I’m afraid that I’m an imposter due to the fact that I’m not actually the one delivering the letters, in fact I’m just the ride to the house for the actual mailman.”
“ really?” Henry said, confused.
“ Then who is the actual mailman?” James asked.
“Miki, “ the mailman said as if they were supposed to know who that was.
A long silence.
“Well I suppose by the way you’re looking at me you don’t know who that is, it’s my friend” he elaborated.
“Wow” James gasped.
“The snail is the mailman!?” Henry said unbelieving.
“Yes, you see, I can’t read, so he tells me where to go and then I just knock on the door as he drops the letter on the doorstep then we leave.” the mail man explained.
“That’s very interesting, so where do you live? People suspect it’s on the mysterious boat that only shows up when you’re around, is that true?”
“Absolutely not! I have aquaphobia.” the mail man stated. “The fear of water. The only time I go to the sea is when I pick up Miki, he lives on the boat with his family. Oh, and of course I go to make my annual offering of a lobster.”
“Annual lobster?” James questioned.
“ Yes, to make sure the sea doesn’t flood my house in my sleep.”he said as if he wasn’t crazy.
“Ok then” James tried to keep the worry out of his voice. “Well then I guess we should ask the question everyone is wondering. Are the letters really from the future and who is writing them, you?”
“Well I don’t know mikis the mail snail.”
“Can you ask him?” Henry asked.
“Well of course not snails don’t talk. You dont think snails talk do you?” the mail man said concerned.
“No of course not, ” Henry said defensively.
“ Well I’m going to be on my way now, you know how it is for snails to carry around.” a sliding chair and foot steps descend, and then a door closes.
“Well that was interesting I guess…… .um I guess that where we’ll leave you guys too then um see you next time on “Is This Real?” podcast” James said and then silence as the podcast ends.
The end
Octopencil 