Penpals

By Natasha Blade

Dear Robert de Bruce, 

    Can I call you RB?

My name is D-29 and I am from the future. Congratulations! My teacher assigned me to be your penpal! 

    I do not know if you have ever had a penpal before, but I do know that someday you will be the King of Scotland. You sort of killed someone to become it, which is slightly illegal in society today, but things were very different back then.

It is interesting that you are my penpal because you were recently in the news. Apparently they determined that you did not die of leprosy after all. . . . It is too bad that you did not know not to eat that eel.

    I live in what was Scotland, but we are called the UK today.

I was going to tell you some of my interests, but I am having a hard time describing the things that I like to do because I do not think you would understand. I mean- you are probably a smart person, but technology has changed a lot since the 1300s.

So, I like to look at this glass square that has the ability to show me images. On it I can find any information in the world! That probably sounds like a magic mirror, but it is not magic it is science. 

What kind of things do you like to do? Oh, my phone- that is what I call the magic glass- just showed me the answer. You like to tell stories. I like telling stories too, but some people think that my stories are crazy. Or that I am crazy, I can not tell which.

It will be hard for me to actually write to you when I can find the answer just by looking it up. But go ahead and tell me what you think I should know. Please, do not write it like Shakespeare, okay? That was a headache. 

I also have two domestic creatures. One is a platypus, which my parents thought would be funny to name Perry for some reason, and the other is a rhino. Have you ever seen a rhino? It is very similar to a unicorn except really bulky and not so pretty.

    Yours truly, D-29

    Dear RB, 

I know you told me not to call you that, but I think it suits you better. And no, my name is D-29 there was no typo. That means I am the 29th clone. You would probably call me a twin.

I know it is hard to believe that I am really from the future. So let me prove it to you.

Tomorrow you will wake up with no socks on- but, you went to bed with them on. Ooooo. Mysterious, right? No, I did not take them off. I can not do that. I just know that it happened because you wrote it down. Pretty weird thing to record if I’m being honest.

Strangely, I went to do some more research about you and your date of death had changed. You would not happen to know anything about that would you? 

I also realized that you would not know who Shakespeare was. Sorry about that. I would say he was a very famous playwright. You do have plays, right? In the future we do not watch theatre in person, but we can see it on the magic square devices.

I also found a story where you took inspiration from a spider spinning a web once. You were hidden in a cave and admired its tenacity. Very interesting. I hate spiders, but I do not hate you. Yet. 

How did you find out that riding ponies could be more beneficial than horses? When I was younger I thought that ponies were mutant deer because they were too small to be horses.

Yours truly, D-29

Dear RB, 

Apparently I was not actually supposed to start writing to you until my teacher gave us instructions, but I can not exactly undo my letters. I know that probably sounds weird since we have time-travelling, but it is rather complicated.

Anyhow, I need you to not change the future and please forget any of the weird things I have said. You are only supposed to become king, then die. No monumental changes. 

That may sound a bit harsh, but no one lives forever . . . Some of us just live less than others. Especially all those people who died during the alien invasion.

Enough about me. How is it going for you? Probably pretty busy with the war, huh? Must be . . . fun. Glad we do not do that anymore. Our international leaders play rock-paper-scissors, a truly intense game.

Yours truly, D-29

Dear RB, 

Okay, I am willing to help you free Scotland from England on one condition: you have to make the national animal the unicorn.

I will be ecstatic if you actually do it!

What you need to know is that in a couple years you will be outnumbered at Bannockburn. Do not worry. The geography can be to your advantage if you force the English to cross some boggy streams. Just do not forget your socks. Some of the men will complain that your feet smell and it is a pretty embarrassing legacy.

I hope that helps. 

On a more casual note, today I got my drivers licence. That means that I am allowed to pilot any flying craft that has a mass between 300N to 500N. 

 Once again I realize this is information you should not know, but I am already changing history, so it can not hurt too badly. Are you interested in anything else in the future?

I would tell you about the alien invasion that I mentioned last time, but that was pretty boring. OH-! Your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grand-son is the space ambassador for the martians! What a coincidence! I met him at the park the other day. He was watching his daughter play with the teleporter. 

Personally, I do not like teleporters. They give me a weird feeling. I feel like in the future they will decide that they are not very safe. 

Yours truly, D-29

Dear RB, 

I can not believe you actually did it! Now the unicorn is in my textbook! Thanks for being such a good friend and keeping your promise.

Maybe, I need to start writing to other country leaders. Think of all the great things I could do!! I could make another country have the dragon on their flag! Probably, not our country though because we have enough mythical creatures. I mean . . . totally real and awe inspiring creatures, worthy of being a national animal.

But, I am kidding about writing to anyone else. The truth is that I am not allowed to keep writing to you. I may even be arrested by the time-police. But I think it was worth it.

Besides if I am arrested then they will send me back to fix the mistake, so it is possible I could meet you in person. That will be cool, right? Only, you are actually a bit scary. I hope you will not kill me if I ever do visit you. 

Do not worry, by “fixing” it I will not force us under England again. I think that I can convince them that the only change I made in history was the whole unicorn thing and hopefully they will not care too much about that. 

If they really understood what I did I feel like I would actually be knighted or something because no one likes England. Tea this and crumpets that. PHH. 

Well, it was nice getting to know you. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist so I have to go.

Yours truly, D-29

More Stories by Lexi Anders

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